Whether you are a newlywed or married for a few or many years, I hope you’ll find this post interesting and useful. I myself have been married for over fifteen years and, if asked if happily, I’d have said YES without hesitation. Our marriage is strong and good. Reliable. Fun. Inspiring. The longer I think of it, the fewer adjectives I can come up with, though …
We work hard on our marriage. We read guides to a better relationship, we go to married couples retreats organized by our church. We attend classes and seminars, we watch videos intended to improve our bond. We go on dates. We try to keep the spark fresh and alive, but life has its way of sneaking in and making it all about the bills, home repairs, chores, kids and work. If, like myself, you are blessed with growing children and aging parents, then congratulations, you are the Sandwich Generation. I get to attend to ever growing needs of my teenage and young adult children, and run to doctors and hospitals with my ailing parents. And I am not a spring chick myself, so my own health issues are surfacing more and more.
So the stress is definitely present and if we, as wives, are not vigilant, it may overtake our lives and destroy not only peace and joy, but, most importantly, the Romance!
And that is just not acceptable! I refuse to be one of those wives who read romantic novels instead of living my own steamy scenes in my own bedroom with my own lovely husband. I want to be anxious to see my husband after work. I want to have a great time on our dates, I want … LOVE!
And, guess what, we all can have it!
The hardest part is behind us. We actually found the guy and he is legally ours. The next hard thing is to secure the ownership and make the relationship deliciously exciting. Remember how sexy and desired we felt when we only got married? Wouldn’t you like to feel like that again? Fortunately, there are some improvements and changes that will help us achieve just that.
First, we must talk about the looks. Ours and our husbands’. It’s hard to talk about being or feeling sexy when we are tired and overweight or obese. The skinny ones have it easier, but the aging touches all of us: things go south, there is sagging and gravity is just so unfair …
The answer is simple and obvious. We, as women, MUST take care of ourselves. Hair must be washed, styled and colored regularly if your roots are calling out. Maybe a change in color is needed? Maybe a new style? Why not shake things a little?
Our faces need special attention. Good skin care regimen will reduce the signs of aging and help you look less tired. A facial scrub about twice a week will get rid of dull dead skin cells – slough them off! Apply a serum after and follow with an eye cream and a face cream. Don’t forget the neck, Ladies! There are so many choices for skin care, you do not have to buy overpriced creams, just check the reviews and get them online or at the health store without going broke.
A touch of make up is a must, girls. Make the eyes pop a little, frame them with nicely shaped and filled in brows; a little foundation to even out the color and a light natural lip color will make us look fresh, but done. And even if you end up eating your lipstick, at least your eyes are still nicely there!
Ah, the body … We are not seventeen anymore … Shave, scrub, moisturize and exercise. I know, I know, we don’t have time. Not true. Exercise is essential not only for the look and the feel of your body, but also for your overall health. Even if it is just walking, weights lifting at home and stretching – you will see results. It will even impress your husband and that will make you more sexy in his eyes, believe me! If you can, get yourself nice work out clothes and pretty sneakers, you’ll look great while exercising, and that in itself is a bonus.
The wardrobe. Please, Ladies, go through your clothes and donate or discard any items that do your body no favor. Enlist the help of a friend or family if you cannot decide, put it on, look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself if you feel and look good wearing it. If not, away with it. If you can, buy a few new well fitting pieces, if you are on the budget, stick with what you have left and accessorize with scarves, necklaces or belts. Do not, please, do not wear stretched out T-shirts and sagging sweatpants at home around your husband, no matter how comfy they feel. Get rid of them immediately! Designate more worn but fitting shirts and yoga pants for lounging and try to always look presentable.
Perfume! Please, use it. Not in excess, but make sure you always smell great, even on a day spent at home.
Smile is even more important. Your face will look younger when you smile. Smile is the cheapest beautifying agent available to all of us and at all times. Use lavishly!
These are just a few changes that you can apply to your appearance even today. Don’t delay taking care of yourself. Do it for yourself and for your spouse. He will notice, I guarantee you!
And if your groom is lacking in any area, help him and steer gently in the right direction. Comment on freshly shaved face and how smooth his skin feels when he puts some lotion on. Maybe help in a non-threatening way in the wardrobe choices, just like us, they have items in the closet that just do not belong there any more. Invite him for a walk together, hold hands and talk about anything but bills, errands and problems.
Yes, every change is uncomfortable and time consuming in the beginning. Yes, you might have to spend more time on grooming, styling your hair and applying make up. But feeling and looking good is something that will definitely put a spark in your husbands eyes and that in itself is worth the effort.
Keep it alive, Ladies, keep it alive …